im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
