just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
