u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
