Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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