Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Congratulations! We have a period
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
