Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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