Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
