Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
