Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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