dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
