Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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