Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
