Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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