I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
