walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
