areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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