Whatcha textin bout Willis?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
