chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
