People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
