he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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