I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
