I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The adults are the big ones right?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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