420 ftw
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
