I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
