stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
