What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
