I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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