is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
