All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
