I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
