So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
