this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
My breasts were aching with rage.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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