i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
