Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
