Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
