Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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