How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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