Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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