It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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