Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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