i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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