yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize