Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i will never coherently bang her
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize