At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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