Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
