After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize