made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
