Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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