you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
