yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize