Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Help. Why am I so naked?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
