No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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