Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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