She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
