I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
