Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
