She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
