Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i jhust puked up my retainher.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
