Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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