So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
