Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
